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SCHOLAR ISLAND |
Jealousy
"Jealousy is always born with love, but does not always die with it."
La Rochefoucauld
"Most of us, I am afraid, are terribly jealous, envious and possessive. When you love somebody. Your girlfriend, your wife or your husband, you are determined to hold them for the rest of your life; at least you try to. And you call that "love"-he or she is "mine." And when "the mine" looks away or looks at another, becomes somewhat independent, then there is fury, jealousy and anxiety, then all the misery of what is called love begins."
J. Krishnamurti (Talk at U of California, Santa Cruz)
"Always remember, Peggy, it's matrimonial suicide to be jealous when you have a really good reason."
-Clare Boothe Luce
"We are ashamed to admit that we are jealous, but proud that we were and that we can be."
La Rochefoucauld
"Jealous is a sign that something is wrong, not necessarily rotten, in the organism of love."
Theodor Reik
Psychology of Sex relations
"A jealous ear hears all things."
Apocrypha "Wisdom of Solomon""Jealousy is beautiful only on a young and ardent face. After the first wrinkles, trust must return."
Alfred Capus
"Jealousy: that dragon which slays love under the pretense of keeping it alive."
Havelock Ellis
On Life and Sex: Essays of Love & Virtue (1937)
"Whoever had known sexual jealousy, that most destructive of emotions-and this would be so for men no less than women-had known madness and had now to know sympathy for someone who had been carried by jealousy this one terrible step too far, to murder."
Diana TrillingMrs Harris: The Death of the Scaresdale Doctor
"Even insects express anger, jealousy, and love."
` Charles Darwin
"Jealousy is an enigma, the least known of all human emotions, the least spoken of human reactions."
Sokoloff
"Jealousy is…..a kind of fear related to a desire to preserve a possession."
Descartes
"There is more self-love than love in jealousy."
La Rochefoucauld (1665)
Jealousy is not a barometer by which the depth of love can be read. It merely records the degree of the lover’s insecurity…..It is a negative miserable state of feeling having its origin in the sense of insecurity and inferiority.
"Jealousy is the dragon in paradise; the hell of heaven; and the most bitter of the emotions because associated with the sweetest."
A.R. Orage
"Jealousy would be far less torturous if we understood that love is a passion entirely unrelated to our merits."
Paul Eldridge
"All jealousy must be strangled in its birth, or time will soon make it strong enough to overcome truth."
Davenant
"Jealousy is the great exaggerator."
Schiller
"To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is, a dissatisfaction with self, an impossible claim that one should be at once Rose Bowl princess, medieval scholar, Saint Joan, Eleanor of Aquitane, one’s sister, and a stranger in a pink hat seen once and admired on the corner of 55th and Madison-as well as oneself, mysteriously improved."
Joan Didion
"Jealousy stands by the blue flame of the gas stove stirring obsession stew. In his mind he is tearing people limb from limb. He wears a shirt that is almost in style with its odd angular shapes and bright edges. He can be quite charming when he wants to be. He certainly has a flair for drama. After a while, though, the roles jealousy takes begin to seem shallow, dishonest, repetitive. The more upset he feels, the more loudly he denies it. For a time I stopped giving parties because he wouldn’t come if I invited certain people. At that point I couldn’t give a party without inviting him, and I was unwilling to censor my guest list for his sake. He is quite capable of showing up anywhere, unexpected uninvited, unwelcome
J. Ruth Gendler
The Book of Qualities
"No one will have a difficulty now in understanding how that could be, but in the evil days of the world malaria, that would have been held to be the most impossible thing. I should have had to crush that second love out of my thoughts, to have kept it secret from Anna, to have lied about it to all the world. The old-world theory was there was only one love-we who float upon a sea of love find that hard to understand. The whole nature of a man was supposed to go out to the one girl or woman who possessed him, her whole nature to go out to him. Nothing was left over-it was a discreditable thing to have any overplus at all. They formed a secret secluded system of two, two and such children as she bore him. All other women he was held bound to find no beauty in, no sweetness, no interest; and she likewise, in no other man. The old-time men and women went apart in couples, into defensive little houses, like beasts into little pits, and in these "homes" they sat down purposing to love, but really coming very soon to jealous watching of this extravagant mutual proprietorship. All freshness passed very speedily out of their love, out of their conversation, all pride out of their common life. To permit each other freedom was blank dishonour. That I and Anna should love, and after our love-journey together, go about our separate lives and dine at the public tables, until the advent of her motherhood, would have seemed a terrible strain upon our unmitigable loyalty. And that I should have it in me to go on loving Nettie-who loved in different manner both Verrall and me-would have outraged the very quintessence of the old convention..."
H.G. Wells
In the Days of the Comet
See article "Confessions of a Jealous Wife" REDBOOK, Mar 1970 or Readers Digest,June 1970
Book: "The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is as Necessary as Love and Sex" by
David M. Buss